(military drum beat) – [Announcer] UNCHAP. United Neighborhood Citizens
Home Appearance Patrol. Starring Uncle John and Jack Vale as the UNCHAP employees. – [Jack] John I cannot find you anywhere I do not see you, over. – [John] Jack, I’m standing
right over here right by uh, I look just like you. – [Jack] How come I don’t see ya? – [John] Because I don’t know, Jack. I’m right over here right next to ya. – [Jack] I’m looking that way. I don’t see you anywhere. – I’m down here Jack. Come on down. It’s like a garbage can. – What street are you on? I don’t see it. – [John] Like, I’m on the
same street that you’re on. – Over? – [John] I’m on the same street you’re on. – You said across the street? – Yeah, kind of north of you Jack. Jack, I’m kind of north of you. – John, I can not see you. Over. I don’t see where you’re at. – He doesn’t understand me. Tell him I’m just right down from him. – He’s right down from you. – Okay. Do you see another guy in yellow? – [Young Man] Not up there?
– [John] No, he’s on the ground somewhere. Can you tell? – Right there? – [Jack] How come I don’t see ya? – He’s right across from you. My man’s right over here. To your right. Behind you, is that the guy there? – Hey, do me a favor. Tell this guy where I’m at. He doesn’t know where I’m at. – He’s at a strip club in Vegas. – I’m just down the street from it. Would you mind telling
this guy where I’m at? – I don’t know where you are. – [Jack] I can not, I can
not see your whereabouts. Nor do I see anybody that looks like me or is dressed like me. Over. – The guy in the yellow
is right down the street. – [Jack] I’ve been up and down this street and I do not see anybody dressed like me. – [Sunglasses Man] Is
that him right there? – Yeah, that’s him right there. – [Unknown Man] Hey,
hey moron. Look right. – You up the road? (loud whistle) – Yo! You in the yellow hat! – [Tall Man] Oh. – [Jack] Hey, where are you John? – Here, tell this guy where I’m at. You know the area? – [Tall Man] Oh, yeah. – [John] All right.
Just hit the top button. – [Tall Man] Hey bud,
he’s on 3rd and Broadway. – [Jack] I’m looking for him right now. I don’t see him, over. – Okay, he’s right across from a… This him right here? That’s him right here.
– Yeah, I’m out here near the Hard Rock Cafe. I’m looking for you now. – He’s right here. – Well tell him we’re here. – Hey, turn around. Right here. Right here. Right here! – I’m listening to ya. – No, right here. Here! – You down more towards the restaurant? – No, look up. Look up, look up. No, no, look straight. Okay, in front of you. – John, can you be more precise? – Hold on, let me get him for you. Come on. Hello. It’s me. It’s me you were talking to. – Give me one minute,
I’m looking for my buddy. What do you mean? – On the walkie-talkie. You was talking to me. – I was talking to you? – You was talking to me.
– I don’t think so I’m on the phone with my buddy. – No, right here. Yeah, I know.
– We work for the same company with my buddy.
– Look. Look, look. – Oh!
– The guy talking to you. – John! What’s up buddy?
(laughs) Oh man. Hey thank you very much. – I wanted to try to get you down. You’re welcome.
– [John] Hey thanks man. That’s awesome. Thanks a lot man. (patriotic orchestral music)