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She’s His Hitchhiker Passenger & He’s A Demon Hunter

Dat moment when you got grumps but ya still gonna fangirl! ♪♫♬ I’ll get to my book-bitching in a bit but first, picture it; America, 2018, Romancelandia meets Supernatural! How a fangirl not gonna fangirl? Our boy Dom is a monster-ghost-demon hunter ‘cause…well it’s the family business. Like the Winchesters, the Salem bros have got dead parents & evil to slay. On the way to his next job, Dom spots a stranded chick on the side of the road. His betatastic ass gives our distressed damsel a ride, but gal ain’t no damsel! Vinny is a leather clad rocker chick with only 1 fuck to give. And that fuck belongs to her BFF. Our heroine’s bad dreams about Emma have got her so stressed she’s gonna go visit the girl. Cue the plot! It’s half roadtrip romance, half haunted house mystery. And guys, I cared about both! I actually gave a damn about the external conflict cause it is super tied into the heroine’s story. Yep I’m being vague because spoilers out the wazoo. There’s your setup, now where might my bitching be? Oh, I know! The world building! The writing?…The characters? Bitch nobody rang your buzzer. And no. For starters, the world building was amazeballs! Everythang spooky exists in this universe, & it fun! It’s kind of a perfect mishmash of silly meets badass. And that is pretty rare for paranormals. They’re usually one or the other, and lately they both suck. But not this one! Like, I mean a talking cat…? The hero believably slaying a vampire with toothpicks…? A protection ward made out of a cross & an image from Space Invaders! [laughs] This is the definition of great world building! So I got no bitching on that regard, & the writing was also bitch-free. The universe was cool, sure, but the book did some serious word shit! A few story points even hit me in the feels with a sledgehammer. And I was happy about it! Vinny’s isolation as a poor rich kid shapes her entire identity. She believes everyone is a selfish asshat, & so she keeps them at arms length. Guys, her emotastic pain was painfully poignant! But gal ain’t the only one rocking character depth. This writing, with this hero? It actually says something. “Sorry, you said your mom was Mexican and I guess I was trying to see it.” Dom raised one eyebrow and said something in rapid Spanish. “What did you say?” she asked. “I asked if I looked more Hispanic when I speak Spanish.” He took a sip of coffee, then looked out the window. “Funny. When I say I’m part Irish, no one asks if I speak Gaelic.” [finger snaps] Oh! All them fuckers who say romance novels are nothing but trashy porn with no substance? Yeah Elizabeth Cole just kicked you in the dick. Woke words are truly the best words! And so my bitching isn’t for the characters, either; they’re really real. These dorks were funny, witty, smart…and hella emotionally vulnerable. Dom’s got a dead girlfriend, Vinny’s got shithole parents, & both have got personality. Our hero constantly tickled my giggle dick with his words & his thoughts! Like, “He mostly brooded until he was too sleepy to brood properly.” [laughs] The chuckles are so real! But this funny ain’t just for his character, even the cat gets characterization! A telepathic kitty dropped truth bombs on my ass. You don’t believe me? What about, “The past is done and the future is free”? Mmm-hmm! I got emotionally fucked up over kitty cat wisdom! …That is not a sentence I thought I would ever say in the real world. But it is, and I’m thankful. Especially since Cole’s A+ dialogue, it don’t quit there! If we’re going to get all naked, I need to know you’re not going to die of hypothermia. You’re so sexy when you talk first aid. Here is where my love doth lay!…And where my bitching begins. Hypothermia is the point when the book starts to show its bald spots. Let me explain. Dom & Vinny don’t go to Bang Town until about 71 percent into the story. Now I can handle low to no sexy times… had there been a constant OTP emotional throughline! Whenever these 2 did anything physical or feely, it read like somebody flipped a switch. For instance, sex goes down after Vinny nearly freezes & asphyxiates to death. I don’t mean a page after, I don’t mean a scene after, I mean 2 seconds goddamn later! Girl at death’s door, then with no warning or foreplay she gets Penis Cravings!? I mean she survives a murder necklace & immediately wakes up with her engine revving to go! Huh?! If sexual tension was woven into our couple’s interaction, then I’d buy that. But it wasn’t, so I didn’t. Sex & feels go from 0 to 100 in the blink of an eye. Ugh! My biggest problem with Keep Me Close is that I never really bought the romance. That’s not to say I wasn’t emotionally invested in our couple’s happiness. Or their hot action! I mean hello, have you met me? Dom is one million percent all about Vinny’s pleasure. Even better? Boy makes that clear with his words! Sure, choreography details & deep POV are missing in our couple’s one & only sex scene. But we got boinking convo that feed my corrupted soul! “Here’s the tricky part,” Dom said. “What is?” “I need to fuck you so you come, & it’ll help if you love every second of it. So tell me what you need, Vin, because I want to make you delirious with joy & completely exhausted from feeling good. Whatever you want, just say it, and I’ll make it happen.” That was a turn on. Her words, not mine! I read that & I face-fanned myself airborne! The things this man did with his mouth! You know, like asking Vinny “Can I get you off again? Tell me how.” Tell me how not to faint over those words! Intimate communication is so hot & so healthy. So okay. Maybe I wasn’t sold on their romantic story, but I genuinely liked these 2 humans. I was invested in the demon plot. I got a beta hero who respected a woman’s boundaries. I got a heroine with mommy & daddy issues that don’t magically get resolved. I even got writing which normalizes individual sexual preferences! I like all of that! Yes, the book lacks an emotional undercurrent, making the romance a hard sell. But in the end, I got a beta hero, a badass woman, and a cool universe. So I ain’t gonna bitch! [fart noise] I did that stupid thing where I used my voice & not my diaphragm to do this script! Now I’m hurting! Along with my back, you know, spasming the whole time! That’s great. For those that don’t know I have a form of Spina Bifida & I am hurting so bad right now! So if the video was even more crappy than it normally is, you can blame pain. Usually if a romance author writes a romance book that I don’t like the romance, I normally don’t touch them again. But Elizabeth Cole’s gonna be exception. I like what she does with her characters & I like her writing. There’s just so much good shit in these books- These books? Why did you say these books, moron? You read 1 book! I’m gonna leave a comment pinned below in that…comments. Where else would they be? I’m gonna list all the authors that I’ve tried, that I’ve liked, that I hate. I am in a paranormal slump the likes of which I have never before been in. Maybe somebody can give me an author that I’ve not tried before, that I might really like in the genre! Cause it’s getting to the point that I don’t think I can keep reading paranormal anymore. But if you read the comment & you’ve got anything that will work for me, even if it’s your own book, let me know what it is! And now the video’s gonna end because the garbage trucks are running, and I need ibuprofin! What I wouldn’t give for a new spine! [ding]

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8 thoughts on “She’s His Hitchhiker Passenger & He’s A Demon Hunter

  1. SO FRIENDS I HAZ QUESTION! I need PNR recommendations so badly. But my picky fangirl has requirements, because I'm an asshole.

    1) No 1 character/1 couple multibook series.
    2) Preferably NO 1st person, but if so they need to have both POVs.
    3) I've realized my big issue with PNRs these days is that I want an emotionally driven story where the romance is front and center. I also want books where the conflict is internally driven. Problem is, paranormal romance seems to be all about the external Fight The Bad Guy. So…you got recs?

    Paranormal Authors I've Tried & Loved:
    Larissa Ione
    Thea Harrison
    Bec McMaster
    Kristen Callihan
    Meljean Brook
    Kresley Cole

    Paranormal Authors I've Tried Where Their Old Stuff Is Better:
    JR Ward
    Sherrilyn Kenyon
    Gena Showalter

    Paranormal Authors I've Tried & Don't Like:
    Shelley Laurenston
    Christine Feehan
    Lyndsay Sands

  2. aw man.. I can't help you with any author suggestions. Sorry. I'm also super sorry that your back hurts. That sucks balls… not in a good way.

  3. YEY!!! as always, awesome review 🙂
    I think I have a Paranormal Romance for you, I just finished it and I loved it! really, it was funny, charming and there is plenty romance in it… the author name is Thea Harrison and the book is Dragon Bound.

    there is a book by Eve Langlais (the queen) and it's wonderfully entertaining, but a bit short! it's a Paranormal Romance about a witch and a demon, and so it's called A Demon and His Witch…

    there is another one, but it's a POV (both: Hh), it's an Paranormal Romance set in post-apocalyptic time… the author is Ruby Dixon and the book is number 3 in a series (you don't need to read the other book to read this one) the name of the book is Fire in His Embrace.

    hope you like it…

  4. MJ Haag "Demon Escape". It is book 4, 1-3 were written with Becca Vincenza, and are about the same couple. You don't HAVE to read those books to understand and appreciate this one, though it does help. BUT this book had me giggling my tail off! Oh my gosh, when she found his naughty toy ROOM……..SAY NO FREAKIN MORE!

  5. Sorry about your back, but your sacrifice for our entertainment is appreciated 🙂 You're right – most PNR/urban fantasies can be entertaining, but the paranormal tends to take front and center stage at the expense of the romance. The romance ends up as the sprinkle instead of the cupcake. Usually if the 'verse is strong enough, I really don't mind, but I am a romance junkie, so I get it. I would try Nalini Singh's Psy-Changeling series (long running series but it's a different couple each book), at least the early books. I am curious though – which Shelly Laurenston book did you try? Anyway, Loving your vids and checking out your recs, so thanks 🙂

  6. So this book sounds hella amazing, and am one-clicking it ASAP. But what I'm really here for is recs.Have two recs for you.

    The Diablo Lake series by Lauren Dane
    The Parasol Protectorate Series by Gail Carriger

    Hope you like those. Can personally recommend them. Also, I hope you feel better soon <3 <3

  7. I agree with you about the 0 to ignite sexdrive … I hate it when it seems too unreal. However, you definitely made this novel seem really interesting. =0)

  8. That reminds me of the sex scene in the Hallows when bitch had sex in a damn dirty hole with a ghost. MADE NO SENSE. plus you can get a yeast infection from that shit.

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