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Iyanla’s Reality Check for a Grandma Raising Her Daughter’s Kids | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN


As a mother, what did you
teach her about mothering, about being a woman, that
she would have six kids and leave five of them with you? I did the best I could. I’m not blaming you. I’m not saying you
did anything wrong. But we got to look at
how we got here, mama. You were 14 when you had her. You were 19 by the time she
left your house to go to school. I’m a grandmother that’s
raised grandchildren too. I raised my grandson. But you got to, you got five. And I made it
real clear that I wasn’t taking any more, because
I wanted her to be a mom. It’s not be a mom, it
is handle the responsibility of raising children. Is she equipped? Did you equip her? Or did you just take the the
responsibility because you were afraid she couldn’t do it? No, I didn’t take anything. But you have the
children, mommy.. She sent them to me. And you could
have sent them back. You can’t have it both ways. You can’t have it in abeyance,
that any moment now, she’s going to come and she’s
going to get them. You got to know that’s
not going to happen. I know that. Anybody that would give
up a one-year-old– come on. Send them in the
mail like fruit, and then turn around six months
later and have another baby. Mama, you got to know there’s
something a little off here. Send them in the
mail like fruit.

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100 thoughts on “Iyanla’s Reality Check for a Grandma Raising Her Daughter’s Kids | Iyanla: Fix My Life | OWN

  1. So, I'm looking at this while getting a pedicure and the little man working my toes is giving me the side eye cuz I'm laughing so hard. Sending em In the mail like fruit.. Lawdtaday!

  2. She still wonโ€™t answer the question about how she raised her. Your parents are your first teachers. We learn so much subconsciously and consciously from them.

  3. No one gets equipped to raise kids you figure out. Some make better choices than others some have more money to do better.

  4. Send them in the mail like fruit 2018 saying lol. It's not funny but that is catchy lol. I need the full episode! On a serious note, This story is so many of woman.

  5. Lmaoooooo "sent them in the mail like fruit" …. Lol HILARIOUS !!!!๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ

  6. Babies ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿพ having babies ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿพ. I was 17 and I broke that cycle with my kids. No teen parents for them. Sometimes we have to start new family traditions. I did many, many new traditions with my children ๐Ÿ‘ถ๐Ÿพ. Iโ€™m speaking positive things. We must teach better for our children.

  7. Some of yall are saying the grandmother is an enabler, and that's true, but i feel like yall would've been cussing the grandma out if she didn't want any part in her grandchildren's life, and let the system raise them, because we all know her daughter wouldn't have.

  8. Her daughter shouldโ€™ve had all them kids knowing that the fathers wasnโ€™t gonna be in picture!!!!! Itโ€™s not her moms responsibility to take care of her kids itโ€™s hers!!!!!!! And Iyanaโ€™s right she shouldโ€™ve sent the kids back to her or her couldโ€™ve give them up for adoption๐Ÿ’…๐Ÿฝ

  9. My Homegirl: Whatchu doin? Iโ€™m bout to drop Man Man RayRay and Tinky butt off..Iโ€™m bout to run to the grocery store…

    ME Ahhhโ˜๐ŸฟHere you go Sis ๐Ÿ’๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐ŸŽ๐Ÿ‰๐ŸŠ

    My homegirl: ๐Ÿค”๐Ÿ’ญ

    Tinky Butt: ๐Ÿ˜

  10. 3 basic tools to live a reasonably comfortable life in this country:

    1. Graduate from High School
    2. Work a full time job(s)
    3. Do not have children before youโ€™re married

  11. There needs to be a new law for being parents and bringing children into our world out of hurt, pain and shame. Lets be real people, children did not ask to be brought into this life and than be treated like this, shameful. A child should be protected until they reach the age 18. Both parents will pay for that child even if they are in state custody. You have a choice, make better decisions to choose to bring a child into our world or you will pay no matter what. No matter where you are or where you try to hide. We will find you and you will take care and raise your children period, even if they are not in your care. No if's or but's about it, both parents will pay child support. There will not be any courts to make this decision, it's a Must. The day the child leave the hospital all documents should be in order with the over-standing, you will raise this child. The only way you will not, if that child is seen to be in harms way from day one. Then there will be protected orders in place to protect that child until they able to protect themselves. It's a new time and era and WE Need Change Now…

  12. Mother was young and wild, now the daughter is young a wild. I was waiting for Iyanla to have this conversation, and I knew her mother was a young mother. The cycle is repeating.

  13. Toxic black mothers love to use the excuse โ€œI did the best I couldโ€ BS! Take accountability for your actions!

  14. I know mrs v and judging nobody for having babies young because she did thatโ€™s the pot calling the kettle black… but at the same time she has a point

  15. Children imitate their parents behavior. Bottom line this woman didnโ€™t raise her child. Her daughter was probably passed around to different relatives. Thatโ€™s why she thinks this behavior is OK.

  16. It says alot about a woman that can keep bearing children just to give them away.
    whether it be to her mother or not,I can't imagine giving my babies to someone else. It's obvious this girl has a mental illness and she's unaware or simply doesn't give a damn about the pain she's causing.
    What does she tell her kids when they ask "why do we live with Grandma,when are you picking us up?" I'd love to know her response.
    It's no way in hell she loves her kids and it's obvious her mother's well being isn't important either.
    Sadly,this girl is destroying alot of lives and she seems a bit too stupid to realize it.

  17. I know of someone in this exact situation. She might feel guilty about not raising her own daughter right, that she wants to make up for it with her grandkids. That's not the way to go, but I'm sure that's what she believes.

  18. Lack of self respect got them all in the situation they are in. Statistics say girls are more likely to be promiscuous without an adequate male role model in their lives. Was there a Father figure in theirs?

  19. OMG i have 19 year old daughter when l had her my mom didn't help me with anything she was so strict that even if I tried hiring someone to look after my daughter she will chase them away ,I though she was a devil that time ,today I'm glad she did that never had another child ,tought my daughter about teenage pregnancy I'm so proud of her

  20. Sad as it is to say, but there is a lot of sexual abuse that happens in the black community. I wish our young black men would be more protective and responsible to our young women. Also, I wish our young black women would be much more selective about the type of men they are willing to give themselves to.

  21. Send them in the mail like fruit!!๐Ÿ˜‚
    Come on now Ms Iyanla This is serious I didn't want to Laugh๐Ÿ˜–๐Ÿ˜ญ

  22. Not everything is a parents fault. My mom had me at 17 I saw how hard she worked to take care of me. There were times I messed up. But I had my first kid at 27. So ppl need to stop blaming teen moms for their kids mistakes

  23. One thing I notice amongst black mothers who weren't good mothers they never want to admit to their wrong doings. You hear same Ol tired a** line "I did the best I could. " As a 34 yr old woman now with a mother who put me thru alot, I can honestly say all I wanted was for her to admit her wrong, ask for forgiveness and work towards better relationship. But I'm old enough now where I don't care about it anymore. I have tried for over a decade to make it better but it won't work with only 1 putting in the effort. And other party doesn't think they did anything wrong. Black mothers need to stop the BS and own up to what you do to your children. It affects us everyday of our lives as adults. Even really strong ones like me can't help but to feel like a lost, unloved, angry, little girl ๐Ÿ˜ข ๐Ÿ˜ข

  24. The mother is in a teen mother body is at. 48 she can't take care of them babies I'm scared for the 5 kids look what she did too her own daughter

  25. The mom is clearly overcompensating for what she feels is her failure as a parent. Taking in her grandkids is not coming from a place of love but from a place of guilt.

  26. We have 3- 4 generations in a row with children having children. Not that parenting can't be done as a teen but for the most part many lack common sense, wisdom education, morals and values that are instilled from birth through early adulthood. Many have attachment disorders, lack conflict resolution, empathy or sympathy therefore it is easy to cause harm or wreak havoc on others. We are the leaders of today leading the leaders of tomorrow but have you all noticed that tomorrow's kids are now adults and they aren't ready to take over anything without drinking smoking or shooting up something? How do we stop our society from self destructing?

  27. Off topic. But did anyone see the supersoul episode where tony robbins completely disregarded ms vanzants teachings in favour of his own. Completely shocked

  28. For everyone who asked, "what fruit come in the mail", just shut TF! You're showing your ignorance and foolishness. SMDH.

  29. Most women aren't raised or equipped to be mothers. They're raised like most people (men and women) to chase money whether its through education, starting a business, or get pregnant by someone who is well off. My mother was the same way and I have learned so much from her through out my life, but she was raised to go after money "The American Dream" and in the process failed miserably as a mom and as a wife. Most people fail in their marriages and homes for that sole reason and because they only care about themselves.

  30. My mom was the only daughter out if my grandma's children that waited. She had my brother when she was 20 and I when she was 22….not exactly ideal but atleast it was not 15,17,or 19

  31. She should have a mom like mine lol , i had my son at the age 17 and my mom put feet down and told me as it now you have a responsibility learn from it . I have 2 children and they are 10 years apart. Thank you mom ๐Ÿ˜˜

  32. Women need to stop having all these children while having nothing to offer them and expect the other women in the family to struggle and raise them. This type of lifestyle is just ridiculous.

  33. SENDEMINNAMAILLIKE FRUUIT ๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚๐Ÿ˜‚

    Iโ€™m sorry ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€

  34. What she mean, "I made it real clear I wasn't taking anymore?"…..she ALREADY got her daughter's whole family. ๐Ÿค”

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