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How to Hitchhike Across America: Season 1 (Part 2/5)


[MUSIC PLAYING] DAVID CHOE: Quick recap. We got picked up in a van, like
a delivery maintenance van with a older white lady,
someone that looked like her son or her boyfriend that was
about to go in the Army, and a shady Mexican guy in
the back seat. We pulled over. She got into a truck– like, a 18 wheeler truck
and drove away. Her son went into Walmart. And then Oncho, the guy in the
back, got in the front, threatened our cameramen to turn
the camera off or else. And then we didn’t
talk that much. But we found out, A, he has
no sense of direction, which he’s proud of. But he’s also a delivery man. So that sort of doesn’t
go together. And two, he lives in Nevada. But his parole is in Arizona,
which is where we are now, standing in front of the
American flag, the USA. MALE SPEAKER: One,
two, three, go. DAVID CHOE: This is Lars. This is a ’56– LARS: Pontiac. DAVID CHOE: Pontiac. He gave us a ride into
Flagstaff today. Why did you give us a ride? LARS: Oh, you look like
the friendly folk. DAVID CHOE: And then were
you scared at any point in the ride? LARS: Nope. DAVID CHOE: Even when we
were doing funny stuff? LARS: Nope. DAVID CHOE: OK. All right. I guess he wasn’t scared. And I guess he was nice enough
to give us a ride. Thank you. We appreciate it. LARS: You’re welcome. DAVID CHOE: This is day four. We’re at Flagstaff, Arizona. We got into some small town
in Arizona last night. And it was dark already. So we had a really tough
time getting out. We were standing out there
for quite a bit. We made a sign. We couldn’t find too
much cardboard. Had no luck with our
Flagstaff sign. And on offense to
our gay viewers. But the second I made this
adjustment, we got picked up immediately in about
30 seconds. I don’t think the last
one was gay. Yeah. I don’t think he even
noticed the sign. But just one of those things
that went that way. So this sign’s pretty
useless now. We’re in Flagstaff now,
where I guess a lot of hippies live here. And the locals here don’t
really like them. They call them treehuggers. I don’t know if we’re going
to catch a train out or hop out of here. Yesterday was a little tough. You see those dudes over there
by the porta potty by the train tracks. So I think we’re going
to go talk to them. Hi. So it looks like we have kindred
spirits along the side of the road here. We got fellow travelers. You guys– TOBY: We’re from Canada. DAVID CHOE: They’re Canadians. TOBY: Montreal. [INAUDIBLE] ROXANE: We came from Montreal. DAVID CHOE: Did you
guys hitchhike all over Canada before? ROXANE: No. TOBY: I did. DAVID CHOE: You did. TOBY: Not all over. But I did few province. DAVID CHOE: And now that you’re
hitchhiking with a woman, do you get
rides faster? TOBY: Yeah, I think so. ROXANE: Obviously. Oh, yeah. But everything’s going
pretty well. TOBY: And you know what
that was crazy? Because we’ve been
in a desert. And we found people. And they gave food to us and
place to stay for free. And they gave to us money. And they had food
and everything. DAVID CHOE: Wow. They were nice? ROXANE: Oh, yeah. TOBY: They were all nice. I was scared to be hitchhiking
in USA. Because it’s not our country. ROXANE: Yeah. TOBY: And I was like maybe
we will get problem. But you know, life is good. And there is an angel somewhere
in the sky for us. ROXANE: Oh, yeah. Yeah. He helps us. TOBY: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: That’s
the road angel. ROXANE: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: How long has
it been since you left? TOBY: Pardon? DAVID CHOE: How long has it been
since you left your home? ROXANE: One year. TOBY: [INAUDIBLE] Yeah, I left before July. DAVID CHOE: What’s the plan? Where are you guys going? How far and long
are you going? ROXANE: We don’t know. TOBY: We don’t know. We have to get to Montreal. ROXANE: Yeah. TOBY: And we don’t have
a lot of money. So it should– ROXANE: I have 35
bucks til there. DAVID CHOE: Oh, wow. TOBY: We just hope that we’ve
going to get a ride soon and we’re going to get home soon. And we’re proud of
what we got here. ROXANE: Oh, yeah. Everybody is so nice. TOBY: Thank you for
everything. DAVID CHOE: Road warriors. ROXANE: That was a pleasure. DAVID CHOE: Fellow
kindred spirits. DAVID CHOE: We’re trying to
catch a ride off the 40 East to go to Albuquerque. I saw this spot also. And I thought this would be a
good spot to hitch out of. And then I saw you hat. And I said oh, there’s someone
else there too. And you’ve been here since– DONALD: Since about eight
o’clock this morning. I got up at daylight. And then I had enough money
to get me a cup of coffee. Got a cup of coffee. And I walked up here. I’ve been here since then. DAVID CHOE: If you haven’t
gotten a right in like eight hours, you move to a different
spot and you just– DONALD: There’s no place
else to move to. DAVID CHOE: All right. DONALD: Unless you
walk a long ways. But that backpack– I don’t want to walk
a long ways. It’s heavy. DAVID CHOE: What’s
your story then? Where are you trying
to get to? Where are you coming from? DONALD: I’m trying to
get to Al Paso. DAVID CHOE: Is there
a reason why you’re trying to get there? DONALD: I stay there
every winter. I’m homeless. So I stay there during
the winter. Because the winter’s
mild there. DAVID CHOE: Right. So you migrate towards
the temperatures. DONALD: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: And the people that
give you rides– they’re nice, they’re mean,
they’re weird? DONALD: Yeah. No. I get a few weird ones. But most of them’s all nice. I’ve had no problems. DAVID CHOE: Can you tell us
one of the weird ones? DONALD: Oh, there’s gays
trying to pick you up. Or some of them act like
they’re a little drunk. They’re just weird acting. DAVID CHOE: All right. Well, would you rather us
hitchhike behind you or in front of you. DONALD: Yeah, you
can go ahead. Actually, if you want to
go up there, you can. DAVID CHOE: Well, I mean, if we
get picked up before you, then I’ll for sure tell them to
pick you up also, you know? So out of respect, we’re letting
grandpa take the prime real estate hitchhiking spot. We were sort of assholes and
we’re trying to cut them off at the pass and try to
get a ride earlier. But if we get a ride, of
course, he’ll give grandpa a ride too. It looks like he just
almost got a ride. But then I guess they weren’t
going where he’s going. So he’s back out over there. But I like our anywhere
but here sign. Because Flagstaff is– it’s no good here. It’s bad mojo. We’re trying to catch a ride
off the 40 East to go into Albuquerque. Because Flagstaff is– it’s no good here. It’s bad mojo. Thanks for picking us up. I appreciate it. WAYLON: Yeah, yeah. No problem at all. [INAUDIBLE] DAVID CHOE: Jump on in. I told you we’d get– DONALD: Could you throw this
back there for me? DAVID CHOE: OK, yeah. We’ll throw it back there. WAYLON: All right. One big happy family. What’s up? DAVID CHOE: It’s awesome. WAYLON: Look at this. Wow, boy. I dropped off one guy in
town here in Flag. Just picked up four more. How about it? DAVID CHOE: That’s awesome. WAYLON: So what do you guys
got going on, you know? DAVID CHOE: We’re just trying
to get as far as we can get, you know. WAYLON: Well I’m going to make
it as far as Atlanta. DAVID CHOE: Are you really? WAYLON: Yeah. So you guys are pretty styling
as far as rides go if you guys are into it? DAVID CHOE: Well
that’s awesome. But we’re trying to get as many different rides as possible. WAYLON: Really? That’s sick. So how far are guys going
to rip with me then? Until I get boring or what? DAVID CHOE: No, no, no. It’s not that. We just want to stop
in every state. WAYLON: You guys are
hitching masters. Check you guys out. DAVID CHOE: Can you tell
us a little bit like what your story is? Like have you hitchhiked
before? Obviously you’ve picked
up hitchhikers. WAYLON: Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I’ve hitched quite a bit,
man Yeah, on the East coast and on the West coast. It’s not so bad on
the West coast. But I think they made a lot of
movies back in the late ’80s about hitchhikers
killing people. DAVID CHOE: Right. WAYLON: So everybody’s scared to
death, not to mention that the media’s got everybody so
scared shitless of each other’s shadows these days that
nobody wants to pick up anybody for jack. DAVID CHOE: That’s the same
feeling I get is just sometime during the ’80s, like two or
three people got killed. But people forget that, like,
everyone used to hitchhike and everyone used to give rides. And it was no problem. WAYLON: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: And then they blow
something out of proportion. And I’ve hitchhiked for years. And I’ve never really
had any major– you get picked up by weirdos. But nothing– you know. If you’re out of luck
and you need a ride, it’s nice, you know. HARRY KIM: This is Donald. And he’s been telling me about
how for the last four years he’s been homeless. So he’s kind of become
like a US traveler. DONALD: The thing about
homeless, you know– there’s a lot of you
get broke, and you get a hard time. But life’s full of hard
times anyhow. You’ve got go through bad. You have good times, all that. But in a way, I’m free. Because I don’t have to worry
about nothing really, just surviving, on being alive. DAVID CHOE: Where’s
home base for you? WAYLON: Right here, my man. DAVID CHOE: Oh, you’re from– WAYLON: You’re right. DAVID CHOE: You’re
from Flagstaff? WAYLON: No. I’m from my Dolphin
right here. I’m from the RV. DAVID CHOE: Oh, this is is? WAYLON: Yeah, man. Yeah. DAVID CHOE: I think everyone
that works an office job secretly desires exactly what
you’re doing, like fucking jump in your car. Get your dog. WAYLON: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: Live from
place to place. Where you lay your head
is home, just go. Wherever you go, new adventures,
new things. WAYLON: You know, everybody
wants a van. But there’s fewer and fewer
people who are willing to do what it takes or to succeed
at their dream and live a fulfilled life, man. So I’m just trying to take
advantage of my life is all– DAVID CHOE: Right. WAYLON: Not take it for granted
and appreciate this beautiful gift we call life. DAVID CHOE: Right. WAYLON: So other than that,
my man, that’s about it. I worked for a while,
saved up some money. And I’m just doing my thing. DAVID CHOE: Was it a girl? WAYLON: Just kind of
creating my scene. What’s that? DAVID CHOE: Was it a girl? WAYLON: Oh, this is the
only girl for me right here, this Angus. DAVID CHOE: This guy
is like basically the hitchhiking paradise. He picks up everyone. He’s living in the present. Basically, our entire trip
can end right here. He basically offered
us a ride to the other side of the country. So we’ll see if we do that. We have another guy down here
that we’re going to pick up. So it’s still a sausage
fest right now. But we’ll see how it goes. Is he holding a dog? HARRY KIM: I’m Harry. DAVID CHOE: David MALE SPEAKER: Nice
to meet you. Where are you from? Where are you headed? DAVID CHOE: Greenbay. MALE SPEAKER: Greenbay? DAVID CHOE: Yeah. WAYLON: So who’s
driving, y’all? MALE SPEAKER: [INAUDIBLE] WAYLON: Hey, brother. DAVID CHOE: Do you know
how to drive stick? MALE SPEAKER: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: Do you
want to drive? MALE SPEAKER: Sure. DAVID CHOE: OK, cool. WAYLON: Ah, poor boys. Wake me up in Saint Louis. DAVID CHOE: Calling all lost
souls seems to be the theme of this one. We’re going to ride
on the Dolphin. It’s like the Noah’s
Arc of hitchhikers. We picked up two guys
and two dogs also. So total, there’s five
hitchhikers on there and one awesome guy named Waylon,
kindred spirits. Just picked us up. Picks up all hitchhikers. He doesn’t care if they’re
carrying a trash bag full of french fries or smell
like shit. He’ll pick anywhere up. And weed seems to be the common theme of all the travelers. Grandpa here has a huge weed
tattoo on his arm. The other fellow– I forgot his name– was stranded on the street. Because he had a weed deal with
his cousin that went bad. So his cousin had a hissy fit
and then threw him out. And then Waylon, who actually
enjoys weed, but then doesn’t smoke it anymore. He’s got his own spiritual
dilemma going on right now. And all around, good guys. So we’re 60 miles outside of
Albuquerque and our longest ride so far. In four days, we’ve
gone through California, Nevada, Arizona. And now we’re in New Mexico,
in a place called Moriarty. And it was funny. Because the guy that picked us
up and one of the other guys that we picked up– we’re all of 30. Those two guys still– they’re wandering souls. But they still live at home
with their parents. And besides weed and
drywalling, they all had funny tattoos. Great guys though,
really cool guys. It’s about midnight right now. And we’re at the truck stop. So we’ll see what this
own has to offer. Thumbs up. All right. This is David Choe. And this is Thumbs Up. This is day five
on our journey. We are still in New Mexico. Yesterday we rode
for 12 hours. We got a ride with a nice fellow
named Waylon Powers. And then we picked up grandpa. And then we also picked up– I can’t remember his name. Strong, silent type, looked
like Paul Newman. Paul Newman didn’t say much for
most of the ride unless it had anything to do with construction work or dry walling. And then all of a sudden out of
nowhere comes out with, I think I tend to fall in love
really easily if the pussy’s really good. Where Waylon comes
in with, on, man. It’s just a box, man. It’s just a box. You got to deny yourself
the box, man. Deny yourself the weed, the
beer, and the pussy. And that’s how you
empower yourself. I guess we all had that in
common is that we all tend to fall in love with the box, fall
in love with the pussy if it’s really good. I guess I don’t know if
that’s love or not. But that was that. So we’re going to try to
get to Texas today. So, hi. We’re in the town of Moriarty. And this is in– VANESSA: New Mexico. BUBBA: New Mexico. DAVID CHOE: New Mexico. Everyone introduce yourselves. BUBBA: I’m Bubba. DAVID CHOE: That’s Bubba. VANESSA: I’m Vanessa. DAVID CHOE: Vanessa. SUSIE: I’m Susie. CHRIS: I’m Chris PUMPKIN: Pumpkin. AMANDA: Amanda. DAVID CHOE: So you guys want to
tell us a little bit about this town and what
goes on here? BUBBA: It’s very small. There’s a lot of drinking. DAVID CHOE: A lot of drinking. Oh, everyone’s waiting
for the liquor store to open on Sunday. CHRIS: Yeah. BUBBA: Yeah. How many minutes? Those open. SUSIE: The average age
in Moriarty to start drinking is like six. DAVID CHOE: What’s the
population here? SUSIE: No, about 2,200
right now. DAVID CHOE: All right. Were you guys all born and
raised in this town? PUMPKIN: Fuck, no. AMANDA: No. PUMPKIN: You’re fucking funny. DAVID CHOE: Texas? SUSIE: Texas, yeah,
born and bred. DAVID CHOE: Which city? SUSIE: These two were
born in Albuquerque. He was born in Florida. I don’t know where
he was born at. PUMPKIN: I was born in hell. SUSIE: No. DAVID CHOE: So you guys seem to
come from various parts of purgatory, hell, and other
parts of the South. What brought you guys to– SUSIE: These are my two
daughters and my two son-in-laws. DAVID CHOE: Oh. SUSIE: And my husband. DAVID CHOE: And so why did
you guys pick this town? SUSIE: Because we hate
Albuquerque. AMANDA: New Mexico sucks. Because Texas is better. BUBBA: Texas is better, man. DAVID CHOE: God bless Texas. SUSIE: This is what one is. We were out here. We were looking for land. And we were looking in Berlin
and all that stuff, and looking for land out here. We came out here on his
Harley, no less, huh? And a 10-year-old boy held the
door open for me and stood there and said yes,
ma’am, no, ma’am. And I was like well, this
is where we’re moving. DAVID CHOE: Just like that. SUSIE: Just like that. DAVID CHOE: So you guys all
drink together as a family. AMANDA: I don’t know PUMPKIN: I do. I’ve never touched a drop
of alcohol in my life. SUSIE: The girls can’t drink. Because they’re both
expecting. DAVID CHOE: Are you really? BUBBA: Yeah. DAVID CHOE: Oh, wow. Congratulations. PUMPKIN: They call me Pumpkin
for one reason. Because I was born in McCaws’s
pumpkin patch, lost it at McCale’s motherfucking farm. This is why they call
me Pumpkin. Because I roam with the wicked
shit, here and everybody else, feeling nothing but
that acid trip. Don’t give a fuck. Water fall down, all around. Motherfucker, UCWC represent
wicked clown. Slit your throat. Watch you die. Motherfucker, I hope
you croak. Don’t give a fuck on how
many motherfuckers you want to try to fool. Because I hit ’em bad. Beat you down, motherfucking
50 in my hand. Be eternally fucking glad. Don’t give a shit. Slit your throat. Watch you fucking die. Don’t give a shit, smoking
this J, send out your motherfucking heart. Beat your ass all around. Smoking all that grass. Because I am the wicked shit. Remember that all about when
you hit this fucking blast. DAVID CHOE: Wow. Wow, amazing. You guys start early. BUBBA: Yep. CHRIS: Why not? VANESSA: [INAUDIBLE] early. BUBBA: No. You go to El Paso. They start at like three
in the morning. DAVID CHOE: Wait. So you guys are smashed by,
like, two in the afternoon. SUSIE: There’s only two of
us that get smashed– him and him. DAVID CHOE: And none of this
leads to violence. VANESSA: Nope. SUSIE: No. PUMPKIN: No. I do got a lot of
misdemeanors. BUBBA: And he’s not here yet. PUMPKIN: I do got a lot
of criminal charges. DAVID CHOE: But no felonies. PUMPKIN: No felonies. DAVID CHOE: That’s good. PUMPKIN: Just a lot of
criminal charges. That’s all. All misdemeanors, all
misdemeanors. DAVID CHOE: Well, it was
nice meeting you all. CHRIS: Same here. DAVID CHOE: We’re at a freeway
underpass right now. We’re trying to hop out,
hopefully get into a different state by today. We have some really classic
graffiti here that I’m going to try to decipher for you. It doesn’t get more
perfect than this. First we have the pentagram with
the six, six, six, with a pitchfork, a swastika, and
upside down cross. Here we have an abstract cow,
and then of course Metallica, another swastika– awesome job– hammer, white power, and the
classic graffiti S that everyone draws when they’re
in high school. And I don’t know if this is the
exactly how it happened. But this is how I imagine
it happened in my mind. I’m guessing white power,
white trash, gutter punk couple was up here getting
drunk, spray painting. And then those past two columns,
the male, who is usually more aggressive, was
painting the swastikas and the six, six, six. And his girlfriend was like I
took one of the cans and came over here and did the
Pac Man ghosts. So here’s the Pac Man ghosts,
which are much more friendlier and more light-hearted. Oh my goodness. Look at what I found. I thought it couldn’t get
better than this. A China man the only
other color– I mean, so for all the grafiti’s
been in black, but they broke out the metallics
for this one. It’s a buck tooth China man
with a coolie cap on. And someone crossed him out,
saying no China man, with silver paint. And right there we have,
of course, the classic human shit. We’re having a really tough
time catching out of this part of town. So we’re breaking out the
instruments, who, Hasinto, our cameraman, has been carrying
for us this whole time. We’re going to play our golden
medley, the one that usually gets us picked up, which is a
fusion of Guns n’ Roses, Mr. Brownstone, the Police’s, Every
Breath You Take, and whatever Led Zeppelin
songs Harry decides moves him at the moment. HARRY KIM: [SINGING] Fuck New Mexico. Texas is better. Texas is better. Fuck New Mexico. DAVID CHOE: We rocked Moriarty,
New Mexico. We rocked California. We rocked Nevada. Is Texas going to rock us
or will we rock Texas? Find out in Thumbs Up,
the next issue. We’re in New Mexico still. New Mexico, Texas. A lot of fucking cows. We’re getting hungry. We’re going to try to catch
one, try to jump on one. God bless John Wayne. So as the day comes to a close,
many lessons to learn. A, as humans, we can’t
even run as fast as chickens or cows. We’re in a beautiful town of
Tucumcari, New Mexico. We were in Moriarty, New Mexico,
earlier today, where we met an amazing beautiful
family. Well, I mean they were something
really special. They were beautiful
human beings. We learned lots of things from
them, that going to the liquor store in two different cars
early on a Sunday morning is a family affair. And it’s great, families
sticking close together. We learned that if you’re a 15
or 16-year-old woman that’s pregnant, that’s carrying,
that’s holding, you shouldn’t drink. But it’s OK to smoke. We pretty much fucking
rocked this town. We came in. We rocked it hard. The chickens got rocked. The cows got rocked. The locals got rocked. And that’s about all I have
to say about that. MALE SPEAKER: [INAUDIBLE] DAVID CHOE: That’s party
is this possible. FEMALE SPEAKER: All right. DAVID CHOE: Take care, guys. FEMALE SPEAKER: Bye. MALE SPEAKER: Bye. DAVID CHOE: Excuse me, sir. I’m sorry to bother you. But me and my friend, we’re the
two guys that just played in the bar right here. Do you think– I mean, I think we could fit. Do you think you could give
us a ride into Texas? MALE SPEAKER: To where? DAVID CHOE: To Texas? MALE SPEAKER: Yeah. [INAUDIBLE]. DAVID CHOE: I mean,
just anywhere. Just we’ve been in
town for so long. We just want to get
a ride out. MALE SPEAKER: OK. DAVID CHOE: So two
in the morning. We just entered Amarillo,
Texas. God bless Texas. We are in Texas. Things get weird in Texas. [BLEEP]’s one of my favorite
24 hour diners that doesn’t exist in California. Surprisingly, we haven’t
hit one of them since our whole journey. And this is the first
one in Texas. And our waitresses– very nice, very kind,
very shy– would not go on camera, As we
were paying the check, I asked them, because this place is
known to have the most insane people coming in
at all hours– and I just asked them who are
the worst people ever that come in here. And I thought she was going to
say drunks or something. All the waitresses at the
same time chime in– the blacks. The blacks? OK. And explain why. So the reasons why the
blacks are the worst. And this is not just at
four in the morning when they’re drunk. It’s at all hours. They’re annoying. They’re loud. And why they choose [BLEEP], not
IHOP or Denny’s is because chicken and waffles. And it’s cheap. And so according to
Texas [BLEEP] Amarillo, the blacks are
the worst people. I disagree. Besides truck stops, 24 hour
super mega-mats can be a haven for drifters like us. And I will show you
why in one second. Come on. Follow me. Let’s go. Besides the awesome savings,
when you get here late at night, everyone is cracked out,
including the workers. Sp they pretty much let you
get away with murder. We got an awesome ride and
if we are lucky, a good place to sleep. Do you remember these things,
this fun game you played when you were kids. You just open up. And you go to sleep. Good night.

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