Articles, Blog

Hitchhiking Across China: Thumbs Up Season 3 (Part 1/5)


DAVID CHOE: Three. Season three, “Thumbs Up.”
What’s up, everyone? My name is David Choe. I’m here with the son of my
uncle’s cousin, Harry Kim, AKA Guam Cruise, AKA Horny
Kim, AKA Harry Kim. Gettin’ down. Got ribs. Anyways, “Thumbs Up.” This is
a show about hitchhiking, riding trains, riding airplanes,
riding boats. Any means necessary to
get across whatever country that might be. Today that country happens
to be China. That’s where we are right now. In BJ, Beijing. A city known for Peking
Duck and hand release. And it’s the art capital
of the world right now. We’re going to hitchhike
across this country. We’re going to go someplace,
maybe warm, someplace hopefully where there’s
gambling and some nice looking ladies. We’re going to start that
adventure today. But before we start– you know, in a perfect world,
I would make a living from hitchhiking. Unfortunately, I make my living
from drawing pictures, and painting stuff, and pushing
pigment around. And that’s what brought
me here. I have my first art
show in China. So come on America,
come on China. Come see what I do
for a living. Why don’t you get to know
me a little bit? Let’s check out some art. “Thumbs Up” season three. Hey. Let’s go to look my room. Oh. Look who we have here. So, this is basically where
I’ve been living for the last two weeks. Three weeks, now. And this is where I stay, where
I put my whole show of art together for China. I never been here before. And the skies were grey, there’s
soldiers, there’s dirty ass street markets. And all this stuff was amazing
for inspiration for all the paintings and stuff,
but it’s bleak. There’s nothing out
where I am. And I was painting like
I was a monk. And I got really
fuckin’ horny. I wanted to fuck so bad. But I don’t speak
the language. I don’t speak one
word of Chinese. From here, we went
to the mall. It was the first time
I had been around women in three weeks. So I was looking pretty much
how I look now, sleazy as fuck, holding a bucket of KFC,
eating the chicken, going down the elevator, trying
to look up skirts. Trying to hit on girls. Ni hao. Not having very good
luck with it. I just got a raging boner
at the Chinese mall. I couldn’t [INAUDIBLE] to any of these girls. So I came back to this
room right here. Harry was pretending
to be sleeping. And I fucking jacked off day
and night for 36 hours. And in this angle right here,
after my my penis was stuck to my leg like this and
I couldn’t fucking touch myself anymore. I looked up his metal ceiling
beams right here. And there’s like a metal
rust pattern on there. And in my zapped out state, that
pattern of the old man popped out at me. So I grabbed my sketchbook and I
started drawing this old man staring at me. This sort of became a catalyst
for the new shit that I did out here, which was this old
pervert, hanging out at the mall, staring at chicks. Everyone always asks me
what my art’s about. And it’s about the gigantic
pervert that lives inside me. Scumbag. We’re all scumbags. So this is the old man. This is the oil painting I did
from that little sketch from the old man on the ceiling. And I did a ton of
these outside. FEMALE SPEAKER:
[SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: I tried to talk to
many girls today so far, and none of them speak English. Mia seems to speak perfect
English, so we’re going to talk to her a little bit. MIA: And I’m such a fan. DAVID CHOE: You’re a fan? MIA: Yes I am. DAVID CHOE: Oh, cool. Me and Harry are going to
leave tomorrow on a hitchhiking trip. you Do you think anyone’s
going to pick us up? Do you think it’s a good
idea, a bad idea? MIA: I just think it’s going
to be tough, because hitchhiking is not really
part of Chinese culture. Are you just going to do this? Or are you going to have
a little board? DAVID CHOE: If we make a sign,
what should the sign say? MIA: Say, pick me up,
I’m an artist. DAVID CHOE: Pick me
up, I’m an artist? Other signs we’ve had in
America, we just write, we have vaginas. And we toss salads. And that’s the signs we have. MIA: Wow. Good luck. DAVID CHOE: Good luck, OK. So, Harry’s sister
lives in China. And I told him, no
hoes on the road. We got to keep it bros only. And this fucking guy. And his sister’s the most
fucking annoying– why did you do that? HARRY KIM: I don’t know. We’re in the same city, dude. I don’t know. DAVID CHOE: Shh. Here she comes. Hi, Stephanie. STEPHANIE: Hey! HARRY KIM: Hi, Stephanie! Hey! DAVID CHOE: Hi, hi. So. How’s China? STEPHANIE: It’s good. What the fuck? You guys going to try and go
on a roadtrip without me? DAVID CHOE: All right. You really want to come? STEPHANIE: Yeah, please. DAVID CHOE: All right, so I have
had fun talking to people in Chinese that don’t
speak Chinese. But Stephanie speaks a little
Chinese, so she can help us. This might fuck up the
combo we have. The equation. All right. Let’s do it. What else do we need here? HARRY KIM: Just a suit. DAVID CHOE: I gotta
look sharp. I’m going hitchhiking. I gotta look slick. How’s that look? HARRY KIM: It’s sharp. DAVID CHOE: All right. We’ve got cabbage. We got mad cabbage. All we need is a ride. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Thumbs up! HARRY KIM: Thumbs up. DAVID CHOE: Me, Stephanie, and
Harry, we just got a ride from the darkest Chinese man I’ve
ever seen in my life, with the most beautiful smile. He just dropped us off in this
bombed-out building. The gallery kicked me out. I’m in Beijing still. I think this is a good place to
set up camp for tonight and the get ready to head out. I wasn’t ready for our new
addition, but let’s see how it works out. Let’s check out the spot. HARRY KIM: This looks nice. DAVID CHOE: Goodnight,
America. Thumbs up. Thumbs up, China. I love you, even though you
don’t speak English. Engrish. See you tomorrow. “Thumbs Up,” China. It’s our second day on the road,
our third day filming. So I guess, officially, “Thumbs
Up” China, season three, day three. Horrible sleep last night. The smell of petrified shit
filling our nose. We ended up waking
up super early. Beijing’s cool, but I’m ready
to see the rest of China. I guess in China you can walk
right on to the freeway. We’re trying to get a ride. I’m pretty tired. Let’s see if she can get
something going. I’ve never traveled with
a female companion. Harry’s always been enough woman
for me to get a ride. Stephanie’s working her magic. We’ll see if her female charms
work against the gruff Chinese truck drivers. In America, the truck drivers
almost never pick up because of insurance reasons. I don’t know if it’s
the same out here. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: All right. There’s one more truck
right there. Stephanie’s first try, fail. But don’t be mad. There’s another truck. Let’s give it another shot. There’s another truck, too. I think our chances are
going to be good here. They said nobody picks up
hitchhikers, but we’ll see what happens. Tell him he’s very handsome and
I want to interview him while he’s driving. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Yeah? All right! Yes. A lovely couple, empty
bus, our first ride. Thumbs up, China. Hey, tell them I’m going to
sing a song for them. STEPHANIE: She can
understand you. [INAUDIBLE] DAVID CHOE: Oh, you
understand? STEPHANIE: [INAUDIBLE] DAVID CHOE: What? It doesn’t get [INAUDIBLE] than this. America, look. We just got our first ride. Look, a completely empty bus. There’s no one in here. And we got fruits, snacks,
and a gold mic. Stephanie, you want
to take a song? Stephanie failed on
her first try. Her second try popped
her cherry. You got a ride. Man, fuck everyone that said
we’re not going to get picked up in China. High five, everyone. Come on. High five, high five,
high five. High five, come on. Is she mad that her husband
picked us up? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: She’s
pretty pissed. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Oh, no, no,
no, she’s not pissed. I would very much like to
find a Chinese wife for myself or for Harry. But all the Chinese go so far
say they don’t like us because we play around too much. A Chinese girl? STEPHANIE: She says how
can Chinese people not like you guys? DAVID CHOE: That’s
what I’m saying. [WEIRD HUMMING] DAVID CHOE: Whoa, what’s
going on back here? Something’s happening. Oh, whoa. HARRY KIM: [SINGING] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] HARRY KIM: [SINGING] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: You’ll be rich. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] HARRY KIM: [SINGING] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: Oh, Badaling. We’re almost at the first stop
of the Great Wall of China. [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: This is
fucking great. The guy is dropping me by
the Great Wall of China. I’ve fucking wanted to paint
the Great Wall of China my entire life, and it’s
happening now. Man, I’m in love with
this country. I love China, I love Stephanie,
I love Harry, I love this girl, I love her
son, and I love the guy. Bye! Is this the Great
Wall of China? STEPHANIE: No, it’s
right there, fool. DAVID CHOE: Oh my god! STEPHANIE: You’re fucking
retarded. DAVID CHOE: Oh my god, dude. This is fucking awesome. Just got our first ride, and he
dropped us off at the Great fucking Wall of China. I’m going to fucking paint that
shit, dude, it’s awesome. Lifetime fantasy, fulfilled. Another one, off
the checklist. Was to paint the entire
Great Wall of China. But that was what I was young,
dumb, and full of cum. I’m fucking about to turn
33 in a couple of weeks. And one brick is enough. Right? HARRY KIM: One at a time. DAVID CHOE: Let’s
get out of here. Hey, fuck this shit. Hey, everyone. More human shit at
the Great Wall. Fucking take a shit
at the Great Wall. STEPHANIE: Grow up. DAVID CHOE: So we’re eating at
this restaurant, and I don’t understand Chinese and
Stephanie’s taking a shit. But basically, I think these
girls think Harry’s Buddha. They started rubbing his belly
and catcalling him. Look at him, they’re
loving it. He just danced and
took pictures with them for an hour. They gave us a free tofu
and a free chicken. The guy’s a pimp, man. He’s fucking Buddha. The funky Buddha. Look, all the chefs came
out to see us. Look. FEMALE SPEAKER: I love you! [LAUGHTER] DAVID CHOE: Give her a kiss! HARRY KIM: [SPEAKING CHINESE] FEMALE SPEAKER: I love you! DAVID CHOE: Another
day, another show. Day four. “Thumbs Up” Chinese. Yesterday was a pretty
amazing day. We have a wonderful new
addition to the team. Miss Stephanie is
here to help us. I don’t think I’ve ever gotten
a ride so quickly. She did a fail on the first ride
and then we got picked up on the second one by
a tour bus couple. And then we offered them our
singing dog boy Harry as a side show attraction. And they refused, but they did
give us a pretty awesome ride. I got to fulfill my lifelong
fantasy of painting the Great Wall. And then we ended up in a
town last night called– hey, what’s the name
of this town? STEPHANIE: We’re in
Datong, right? DAVID CHOE: We’re in Datong. DAVID CHOE: They said it’s the
stepping point to Mongolia. But it’s also the dust
bowl of China. DAVID CHOE: Mongolia? STEPHANIE: We should go west
along the Yellow River. DAVID CHOE: All right,
let’s go. I got this suit made,
and the crotch ripped while I was squatting. I don’t know how to sew,
so I have duct tape and this red shit. Stephanie, she found a place
to get my pants fixed. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: I went like this. I went like this and it
went (RIPPING SOUND). STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] They want you to go inside. Did I scare the ladies off? It’s right here. So, not a good day for me. I ripped my pants. I just got my pants fixed. I’m pretty sick, I think I
have the flu, and I have explosive diarrhea. I had to shit four times this
morning already, almost once in my pants. All right, let’s go. Either the Chinese Santa Claus
lives here, or the Chinese Spider-Man. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. HUANG: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] His name is Mr. Huang. DAVID CHOE: Mr. Huang. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. HUANG: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: He’s already
married. DAVID CHOE: Tell him
he’s very handsome. You’re very handsome. You’re beautiful. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: You have
a killer smile. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. HUANG: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] He’s the hottest
dude in Datong. DAVID CHOE: Tell him, can
he give us a ride? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Harry will dance
in the car [INAUDIBLE]. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Things are
so easy when you have tits and a pussy. Look at them. These guys got jizz coming
out of their ears. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] OK. DAVID CHOE: OK, Let’s go. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. ZHAO: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: That was
the fucking slowest ride we ever got. This fucking vehicle
we’re riding is powered by sesame oil. You like that? You like it? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. ZHAO: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: I’m an interior
decorator. I’m going to paint this
house for you, OK? This is for you. Harry, come here. I’m going to paint you. HARRY KIM: [HOWLING] DAVID CHOE: What’s his name? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. ZHAO: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: Zhao. DAVID CHOE: Zhao. STEPHANIE: Mr. Zhao. DAVID CHOE: Mr. Zhao, what
do you do for a living? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. ZHAO: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: He demolishes. DAVID CHOE: He demolishes? So we’ll definitely help him. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Ask him if any
of these give you energy. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Sensual. Sensual power. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: No, no,
no, this power. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Which of these
makes my dick hardest? MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: He says this one
makes your cum more flavorful. DAVID CHOE: This one? STEPHANIE: This one. DAVID CHOE: This peanut that’s
a little bit burnt gives your jizz a little smoky,
roasty flavor. Who’s the boss? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: You’re the boss? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: He’s the boss? MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: He says they’re
all bosses. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Please give us
a ride out of this area. Please? Please? MALE SPEAKER: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: Ride
or die, China. Fucking love you. We could never have this much
luck getting rides. Pussy power. I love women. STEPHANIE: Panda. Panda titties. DAVID CHOE: (LAUGHS)
Panda titties rule. Thank you for the ride. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. XI: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: How old is he? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. XI: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] He’s 21! DAVID CHOE: What! HARRY KIM: Ohhh. STEPHANIE: Aw, he can
drink and drive now. DAVID CHOE: No college,
straight to driving? Construction? STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. XI: [SPEAKING CHINESE] STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] DAVID CHOE: What’s his name? STEPHANIE: Uh, Mr. Xi DAVID CHOE: Mr. Xi. Pimping sweater. Pimping sweater, dude. Dope ass fucking sweater, man. All right, Mr. Xi. Have a good one. STEPHANIE: [SPEAKING CHINESE] MR. XI: [SPEAKING CHINESE]

Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , ,

100 thoughts on “Hitchhiking Across China: Thumbs Up Season 3 (Part 1/5)

  1. 死了妈? 中国有个词叫“哗众取宠”,说的就是你们这种傻逼。 your behavior showed that you have no parent.

  2. Here's Season 4. I Guess He Released It On Snapchat/Instagram. Original Uploader Said He Might Have Missed A Few Days

    https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/0B5nwSv75pHfgSk5BQWRnc2FKeGM

  3. I LOVE exploration and other cultures on its own, but with this guy's stupid humor it's just so much better.
    "I love this girl, I love her son and I love her guy"
    he's literally like the eric andre of exploration

  4. Awww, poor David & Harry! They are unfortunately "bananas!" Yellow on the outside, white on the inside!
    😂😂😂

  5. God damn, the fucking left just destroyed so much. It destroyed Vice completely. Ran it into the fucking ground. This is so fucking rad.

  6. Lol, the wagon at 18:05 was sesame oil powered? That stuff has a very low smoke point, I would have to doubt that if it burns frying tofu it can reach combustion temperature

  7. What a bleak looking place. Thought it was a modern happening place. Maybe not so?

    Did he say petrified shit, and not putrefied shit?? 😏😁

  8. They make hitchhiking look appealing until u actually get to it! Then u realize it's hard and dirttty as fuck!! I applaud these guys if they really are doing it 100% honestly and not living luxurious while the cams off. Hats off to David Choe and Harry 🤘🤘 ROCK ON BROTHERS!!🤘🤘🤘 Hoping that one day I can pick up people as cool as you guys!!!👍 THUMBS UP CHINA!!!

  9. David: everyone asks me what my arts about, and it's about the gigantic pervert that lives inside me, scumbag were all scumbags..
    Chinese lady: David, I think he's an artist with the art of a child.

  10. 1st season was way better than the 2nd. Too much sexual comments. He is an amazing artist though, will see what China brings

  11. 1 good thing bout being able to take a SHT wherever whenever is that well imagine that 1 time it hit U and U just REALLLLLY had to SHT >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>.. OUCH and relief

  12. I just got through season 2 and said DAMiT! There's another one? I geuss I have to watch the whole thing…..agian

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *