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🌷 i’m a girly boy and i don’t care (kinda) 🌷

Hello! welcome to my floor very excited to have you here You know we don’t spend that much time on the floor, and I feel like it was a little left out So let’s sit on the floor recently I was at a friend’s house and her mother painted my middle finger with nail polish Something about it was just really Empowering and fun and I really enjoyed it. It just made me feel like I could do anything and it didn’t matter I’ve never really like worn nail polish out in public before and Just having my one middle finger painted was just as like really freeing experience of just like I don’t care and I don’t know it just like meant a lot more to me than I Expected and I liked it a lot more than I expected so today. I’m gonna paint my nails I picked up this very beautiful glittery blue nail polish at CVS this morning and I’m going to talk a little bit about masculinity and my relationship with it and just stuff for the longest time I was so afraid of not being manly enough it was just like a very deeply ingrained fear inside of me that I Wasn’t enough of a man and it’s still kind of like a thing that pops into my head quite often And that’s something I want to change as soon as I can so by getting glittery blue nail polish and painting my nails It’s kind of like a test for me or a challenge for myself to Stop caring so much about whether or not I’m enough of a guy. It wasn’t really like a family pressure For me to be super manly growing up. I always heard like common phrase “like be a man” and stuff like that It wasn’t really them telling me to be manly that Made me feel like I had to be manly it was just kind of the way that I perceived Masculinity that caused me to be like that I have a very very manly father He is a professional arm wrestler. That is not a joke He literally was a professional arm wrestler and he works on cars and super buff and scary and Growing up your father is like this big focal point of what a man should be and so When I realized I wasn’t like my dad. I was immediately like trying to acclimate Oh my gosh. How am I gonna pay my other hand this is gonna. Be really hard. I wish I had a friend Oh my gosh. I can already tell it’s gonna be so bad oh um this is not my first time painting all of my nails, but this is the first time I Already got it on my skin I But this is the first time I’m ever going to wear painted nails out in public in Texas I wouldn’t recommend wearing nail polish out in public if you are like fragile like me I think y’all see me online and think like “wow conan I couldn’t must be like the most confident person he goes out and does whatever he wants”, but I’m not like that at all I’m actually a very quiet very private person in Public and I’m really terrified of other people to the point where like I don’t like to order my own things I don’t like to talk to the waiters or waitresses Really hate like causing scenes or like making people look at me. It’s just not my thing I’m very scared of it on camera I can be really really open and like not really care because I’m in my room like I don’t there’s no one Really to tell me that I can’t be like this, but in public. I am quiet and scared I knew that I shouldn’t wear nail polish on in public in Texas because I’m fragile and I don’t feel like being harassed But in LA which is where I currently am I could wear nail polish outside And no one’s gonna say a damn thing except for maybe like “your nails look good” (yes they do :). So this is a big test for me It’s a challenge for me to be more accepting of myself and to do whatever I want to do in terms of self-expression Regardless of what it says about my masculinity. I think I’m thinking into this a little too much Growing up masculinity was just such a big part of who I am because I’m not Manly at all growing up people always told me like “your such a girly boy” No one ever looked at me, and thought “that dude… that’s a MAN” , I just never exuded that aura you can’t even tell that they’re blue. I’ll be like 12 layers You’re dry I think so, maybe, I’ll find out and growing up being told that I was a girly boy really hurt me I really hated it, but I’ve gotten to a point where I don’t care because Being compared to a girl. I’m finally thought girls are Incredible freakin amazing so why would I be hurt by being compared to a girl? I’m just not like that anymore and as a challenge for myself Especially with the new year here. I’m trying to Be more of myself in public in the public eye and like outside of my room Because who cares if I’m living a life that I’m not myself then that’s not really much of life They’re really pretty color. I really hope that after 40,000 layers that you can tell it’s blue because I like that it’s blue and I’ll match my T-shirt I’ve come a long way in terms of masculinity since I was a kid I always fought with Self-identity since the dawn of my creation and believe it or not I was a very “boyish” boy And so when I was a boy no one really questioned it because I was like really boyish I like rode bikes and played with Snails and got dirty and everything, but then the older you get people expect you to like start being a certain way But I never got that way I was always really really affectionate I was always like attached to my mother and sitting on her lap and Like hugging her and kissing her And I’m still that way I am very very Affectionate of a friend and a child when I was growing up people kept telling my mom like “oh like enjoy it while it lasts Because it’s gonna disappear soon”, but it never disappeared they all were like “my boys stopped loving me when they turned 14” And then I turned 14, and now I’m 19 and they still hugging my mom all the time I always really admired my mother, and I always loved watching her paint her nails or watching her put on her makeup It was just like a sacred ritual to her and it just seemed like so much fun But I never loved myself do it because I’m a guy and I can’t do anything. That’s girly or else I’m no longer a man I got the idea to paint my nails glittery blue because I really love the oh my gosh. This is actually really challenging I’m good. Just stop stop talking for a second oh Very nice you still can’t tell oh my god. You can’t forget look at that Just decide no everyone always talks about my thumbs I have a really really really intense Hitchhiker’s thumb and every time I post anything with my hands in it everyone’s always like what the heck is wrong with you Oh, so normal people as long as I like they’re like this like yay good stuff. Yes Um, but mine is like it’s like this this my thumb can *dolphin noise coming soon to you on youtube* And everyone always makes fun of me stop making fun of my thumb with that being said I actually get complimented on my hands very often So thank you for everyone who doesn’t make fun of my thumbs and tells me that my hands are pretty This is such a good color good choice Conan was I talking about before I caught on you Oh, yeah, I chose to paint my I chose to paint a choice it I’m also trying to just be more like myself like I am in real life in videos that is something I want to be this year I chose to paint my fingers holo Glittery blue because I really love the YouTube channel simplynailogical love it 10 out of 10 12 out of 10 And I really REALLY wanted to get the peel off base coat that she always uses because taking the nails off is like the most satisfying thing in the Whole wide world, but I bought it and it’s gonna take two weeks to get here so Interesting that’s fine. I also bought acetone which coincidentally matches this bottle of nail polish So if I want to take these off I can but I’m trying not to I’m gonna try to wear these and not care It’s gonna take a lot of energy and me to not care about having alcohol. I’m sorry I’m actually an extremely self-conscious person And I don’t really talk about it very much because I don’t want to I want to be very confident in Who I am Because I want to be a good example for y’all Well my nose turned so red and it’s still itchy so I have to turn it more red Wow I’m gonna do like seven more layers, and then I will come back to y’all with a grand reveal *like 17 positive commenting conan voices* Thank you so much for watching this video. I hope you enjoyed it in the comments below Tell me what color I should paint my nails next because I’m gonna keep doing it I need to keep challenging myself to be myself also If you’ve ever struggled with masculinity or femininity or anything with self-expression let me know in the comments because I always look for Solace and other people and I think that other people who are looking for a little boost in confidence to be Themselves would appreciate seeing some nice happy supportive comments down there I’ll see you guys in a couple days of the brand new video. God bless and goodbye

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87 thoughts on “🌷 i’m a girly boy and i don’t care (kinda) 🌷

  1. Im a really girly boy haha and my friends always say like Im the nicest and ost warmhearted person that they know and I think all firly boys are, LETS RISE OUR FUCKIN NATION boys (girly boys haha)

  2. Well your grandparents gave their lives in tough wars. Their sweat and blood are the foundations upon your life is built. You're completely right in preaching against the masculinity which made possible to you to paint your nails…

  3. PRO TIP! if you use white nail polish on your hand before you put on a color (especially a light color like that blue) you can see the color better and use less nail polish

  4. The fact that he's bisexual now shows that guys can't stay girly without going gay (if they don't straighten themselves up and be men first).

  5. thats a hella dude speaking so honestly about his fears ! no rly you're more "man" than the others out there thinking nail polish makes you automatically "girly"….☝️

  6. You don't be ASHAMED BABY ily and your such a good girly boy
    Your so pretty and real and just a cool person your vibe is just everything

  7. Just so u know, those nails are irredecent (I can't spell) GET THE FACTS STRAIT CONAN 😂
    Btw, love the new songo (checkmate)

  8. Damn and I thought the buzzfeed try guys where the most feminine dudes this dude probably made them niggas jealous

  9. Man, you're so cool!, I so feel you in the self-consious matter. But in my experience it'll get better if you stop trying too hard jaja just let go. There's no one way of being you and no one gets to tell you off about it. chiiiill

  10. I have struggled with femintiy for such a long time and no one knows that I have struggled. When I when through puberty I knew I would get boobs and stuff. But I felt werid and uncomfortable being a women. I hated it…. Still to this day I struggled but I come to realize it's ok to be female and also sometimes be more "masculine" when I want to. Sometimes I feel uncomfortable with society's opinion with what a woman should be and gender rolls of a woman. I hate people's opinions. Especially that women dress for boys or women to do makeup for boys. I do it for self expression. I also hate that people expect women to be danity flowers all the time. This video really helps when struggling and I need a calm voice telling me its ok.

  11. Everybody in Instagram kept talking about Conan Gray, so i was curious who this guy actually is. When i saw a picture of him in his ig account, i thought that he is kinda selfish and sassy (lmao). But now i see, he is a whole cutie! I love you, Conan!!💘

  12. I'm a girl and when I was little, anything girly was seen as slutty and horrible and baD- I hated make up, dresses and all that stuff. I didn't care for how I dressed so I always looked horrible, didn't care for my skin, I stopped caring to the point I stopped doing basic body care because I thought that's how I'd be accepted and happy lol
    Years later I graduated hs and started doing make up with my cousin and it's actually pretty fun! I stopped caring about what people think about me and wear pretty dresses and short skirts, I paint my nails, I do my hair… And I really enjoy it! Do whatever you want with your appareance people! You'll be a lot happier that way💙💙

  13. You know what? Being Asian, gay & feminine absolutely things that what I want to be. Oh, I'm Asian and gay too

  14. paint your nails light green!! i cannot paint at all… anything… but light green would look really good on you! but wow! i feel like i just gained a new friend on youtube! you are really cool and i wish i could either meet you in rl…though i'm wayyy, like, wayyyyy uglier than you and we could be friends..idk haha

  15. It’s ok bb Conan! I’m a “girly” boi too! I also struggle with self confidence and I always am afraid of homophobes and “normal” guys saying mean things like calling me gay or something (I’m not gay and what would it matter? Gay is normal! 😤👏) I’m so very sick of gender roles and I hope they’re on their way out! Love y’all🤷🏻‍♂️💁🏻‍♂️❤️

  16. I know I'm late but I wrote a story called the girly boy and the Tom girl. I thought no one in the world was a girly boy. But u are and I'm happy for you 🙂 MY DREAM CAME TRUE ❤💕

  17. People always said shitty stuff to me because of my long hair and girly looks, and i used to get mad and feel bad because of that. But after watching your video, i decided not to care about what some people might think or say anymore and be comfortable with myself.

  18. I really appreciate how you want to free and show yourself how you are 🙁 💞✨ you are a great example for many people and you gave me a pretty good vibe.
    I am 15 years old and my mother, even being in 2019 thinks that I am diverted by the simple fact of being bisexual and how I want to show myself physically. Several months ago I took the option to cut my hair in the tomboy style, the shit hairdresser (sorry aksñs) did not even cut it well and also, when my mother understood how I really wanted it she said that it would "look like a man" something that I faced the seconds and that obviously showed disgust. It should also be noted that I want to change several things in my dress that my mother clearly does not allow me. I find it unfair 🙁
    To this day, the only support I have is that of my dad and friends, and although I am happy about it, it hurts a lot that my mother tries to change me.

    You are an amazing boy, I adore your music and I hope you can fulfill all your goals. I don't know if you'll be able to read this, but I wanted to try it, also let off steam a little bit u u ✨

  19. Conan, I am devastated I can't make it to your show in my town in December… But I trust you are only going to be more successful from this point hope you can make it back to Vancouver soon. The you feel about Lorde is the way I feel about you

  20. I think i am in a point on my life where i truly don't fucking what i am hahahaha i freaking loss myself this year and is taking a hard way to recover from that… i just… trynna know again, trynna discover again what makes me really happy, and what defines myself… thank ypu for trying to be yourself Conan, because i swear that scares me to death lately to do just something, and this kind of vids really makes me dare to come out from the black hole i built myself… i'm still learning and i will never stop learning about how to be myself and how to love myself, and free myself from the stigmas

  21. Men are supposed to be masculine and women feminine! The whole concept is fake, ridiculous, and evil! What tells me it's horseshit is the fact that when one comes across male queer that's effeminate, he's more effeminate than women! That tells me it's an act that becomes second-nature! You queers (men and women) need to just get over yourselves and quit shoving your perversions in everybody's face in pathetic attempts to force real society to accept y'all's insanity and demonicness! Y'all need to get back in the closet where y'all belong, along with pederasts, bank robbers, serial killers, and fringe fetishists!

  22. This helped me alot, im still confused with my gender and think i may be trans and the pressure that its just a phase and that ill return to being my original gender still kind of discoureges me

  23. Cuando vi este vídeo, también me estaba pintando las uñas de azul brillante mientras hablabas. Fue hermoso escucharlo en la mañana, recién he descubierto tu música y me está encantando. Saludos y besos.

  24. I'm struggling with masculinity too… I would love to paint my nails too but I'm scared of being judged or not seen as masculine as I should be… thank you for making this video and showing me that I'm not alone! (Btw that color is so pretty and the heart is the perfect final touch)

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